You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
