The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
