The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
