: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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