I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
