Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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