if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize