Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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