why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
