Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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