I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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