There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
