i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
