i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
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