No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize