And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
