Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
