I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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