its not stalking. its research.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
