If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
there was a trapeze. enough said
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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