I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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