My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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