Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
i think my cat just said my name.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
