Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
