Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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