so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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