My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
