Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
