I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Randomize
