We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I didn't notice because vodka
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
