sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
