i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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