After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize