Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
