anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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