you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
