I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
