Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
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