I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
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