i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
