never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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