Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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