at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
where are my eyebrows?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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