this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
