Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
