As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Randomize
