I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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