and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
You need a sexual gate keeper
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
COCAINE IS GR8
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
