Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
