I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
