What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize