I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
