Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
