My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
