I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize