is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I cut my penus on the lid.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Shame is for Republicans.
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