you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
