All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
