I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
