am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
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