She went from zero to smokin in five shots
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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