it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
