how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Just high enough for therapy.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
