Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
We left the knife in your bed.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
