Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
