You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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