weddingsv make me drug and hornr
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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