i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
