i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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