Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
They are going to name an STD after you.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize