Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
