I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
