Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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