drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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