hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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