I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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