booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
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