He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize