my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
