Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.

Fav 14 1611 5860
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.

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(914): View more from New York

Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO

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(336): View more from North Carolina

I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.

Fav 2 1169 585
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(971): View more from Oregon

Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.

Fav 11 798 1218
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.

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(561): View more from Florida

If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes

Fav 2 619 415
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(613): View more from Ontario

I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.

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