I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
